As promised, here’s your holiday 2019 anti-haul. Sit back y’all, because there’s a lot here.
Is this for real? Am I in some kind of alternate reality where Lady Gaga isn’t, you know, LADY freakin’ GAGA?
Not that she needs to be outrageous all the time, but I don’t expect her to be designing neutral or wearable makeup, especially for the holidays when most brands go HAM with the color and the sparkle. Come on Stephanie. Wow us.
I’m exhausted just thinking about it all. I’m sure they’ll release four more collections before Christmas, but this is the stuff that I won’t buy as of right now:
- Frozen II collection – I like Disney as much as the next middle class 90s suburban kid, but no.
- Becky G collection – Colourpop’s first all matte palette, so yay, I guess, but I don’t know who this is. The roller glosses are cute, and I’m glad it’s not another Kathleen Lights collection, but those are the most positive things I can say about this collection.
- Big ass brown palette – it’s actually called the Bare Necessities palette, but it’s a big ass brown palette. I have this already, but Morphe made it years ago.
- Coconut collection – more brown. Revolutionary.
- Bye Bye Birdie collection – I don’t even understand this collection. No.
- Butterfly collection – a cool neutral/pink palette and some other junk. Boring. No thanks.
- Colourpop x Pony – didn’t this chick just release a collection with MAC? I mean, I appreciate that it’s not similar to the MAC collection, but it seems weird for this to be released so quickly after that collab. It also kind of reminds me of kids’ makeup and I’m not into it.
- Norvina Pro palettes – they’re big, they’re not color stories that appeal to me, and they were released in such quick succession that I don’t think I had time to process them. So now, being the contrarian I am, I’m not interested.
- Mini Norvina Pro palettes – I also don’t like these colors. I might use Volume 2, but I don’t love it, so why buy it?
- Carli Bybel palette – this is kind of a weird release. I’m happy for any non-shitty YouTuber gets a big collab like this, but the packaging is weird, and the colors don’t say Holiday to me. It feels more spring. These also aren’t colors I ever wear, so I don’t think it would appeal to me regardless of when it was being released.
Who the hell is this chick? And why does her palette look like literally every other palette that Tarte releases? The only difference is the super annoying pan placement. The whole collection is this basic Tarte palette, some lashes and a nude gloss. Who thought this was a good collection? I legitimately want to know.
In addition to the typical mediocre quality holiday gift sets, Too Faced also released two palettes:
- Hot Buttered Rum palette – maybe a good travel palette for someone whose collection isn’t full of warm neutrals, but that’s not me. Tarte, Urban Decay, Viseart and so many others have similar small palettes, so this feels a little outdated.
- Gingerbread Extra Spicy palette – last year was the Gingerbread Spice palette (that’s still available!), and there’s nothing extra spicy about this one. Seems a little lazy to me.
I don’t understand why this exists. Why does Morphe keep releasing shit with people who have their own brands? And why so many dudes? Where are all of their collabs with women? Also, how can they call this “glam”? Are we changing the definition of the word to mean boring-ass neutrals?
Is this really the best that UD can do for the holidays?
This is only available online from Ulta. That says a lot to me. The shades are stupid and no one wants this. Stick to highlighters Becca. Preferably something other than Champagne Pop.
So, a warm neutral eyeshadow palette and some brown lip products.
Where would we be without this genius?
I’m sure there’s more stuff I’ve been hating on, but I think this is a sufficient list.
I’m so out of blogging shape y’all. I feel like I can barely form a coherent sentence. Thanks for sticking with me ❤