I’m sure you noticed that I was having kind of a rough day yesterday. I was having all of the feelings, not least among them was impotent rage, and today hasn’t been much better. Luckily I only needed to work for about four hours, so I spent the rest of my day trying to take care of myself.
I know, I know, the whole “self-care” thing is super cliche, but not all self-care needs to involve eating ice cream in the tub. Not that I’ve never done that. It’s amazing. But on a day like today, I take a different approach.
I know that sleeping too much and not getting out of bed is a sign of depression and isn’t good, but today I decided to turn off my alarm and sleep for as long as my body wanted. Sleep mask, earplugs, a little meditation, and I slept pretty well. When I woke up I perused non-controversial makeup-related news and subreddits, answered some emails, and avoided looking at or thinking about the thing I was upset about.
When I got up I did chores, like taking care of trash, washing dishes and starting laundry. These are the daily maintenance things I need to do to keep my home life from spiraling out of control, so I do them while I have the energy and my body is cooperating. For me this is self-care because I’ll feel better about life later if they’re done. It’s bad enough that we haven’t unpacked yet; I don’t need to be worrying about dishes too.
I spent the entire day with YouTube on in the background. It was mostly makeup and beauty videos, but I also spent some time watching blackhead videos. I know it’s gross, but it gives me a sense of order in this chaotic world. It’s sort of symbolic really; the gunk clogs up the pores, but with a little effort and maybe a tiny bit of pain, it can be forced out and cleaned and it’s like it never happened. A clean slate. I know I’m taking it way too seriously and it’s just dirt and oil on people who clearly don’t wash their faces, but it’s calming.
Once I had done a few other things to calm down and I started getting back into my normal frame of mind, it was easier for me to concentrate on more enjoyable things. I colored for a while, I played with and organized some makeup, I took photos of new stuff for Instagram posts, and then I spent some time actually planning future blog content. It’s not something I normally do but I’ve wanted to for a long time, and I recently received some rather helpful planning tools from my friend Becky. I wasn’t feeling terribly inspired but it was the first step toward a longtime goal, and I call that a win.
Reach out to a friend
Today had the potential to be very lonely for me. Dan has been in Philadelphia for the last few days for work, and last night he killed his phone. I mean killed it dead. So our communication has been a bit limited, plus he’s still working nights while he’s there and needs to sleep during the day. I know that he’d be happy to talk to me if I was having feelings, but I can’t prioritize my feelings about something I can’t change over his physical, mental and professional well-being. I’m not that selfish. So I reached out to someone who had as flexible a work schedule as I did today, my friend Brian. He’s fancy and runs his own successful business that involves him being glued to his computer, which is great because our primary means of communication involves our computers. Yay Google Hangouts.
I’ve talked about Brian here before; he’s been endlessly supportive/a giant pain in my ass about this blog. We’ve been friends for over a decade and he’s a great person to talk to when I’m just having a day and need a sounding board. He can generally offer a different perspective when I’m upset about something, but today he was right there with me. I went on a whole tirade, and he was like “Preach”. It’s nice to have that validation. I know that a lot of the other people in my life would have offered this same validation, but when I was in the throes of these emotions they were working and taking care of their children and being productive members of society.
Reading, especially the kinds of things I read, offers a temporary escape from reality. Today it was yet another YA novel, this time about a girl in a “perfect” future who kills people for the good of society. I’m on the second book in the series and I’ll definitely be reviewing it when I finish because it’s an interesting premise, in addition to being decently written with engaging characters.
My favorite part about it is that there isn’t really a love interest; there is a male protagonist and a female protagonist, but their relationship isn’t what’s driving the story. It’s mentioned and has some bearing on the events that unfold, but they’re not constantly talking about or pining for each other.
Comfort food can be tricky for me. My first instinct is to eat all of the cake and cookies, but I know I’ll just feel like garbage afterward, so today my self-care involved chicken souvlaki and a Greek salad from a takeout place near home. It was inexpensive, relatively healthy (tzatziki man, gets me every time) and I didn’t feel disgusting when I was done with dinner.
Not gonna lie though, my coffee table is full of Halloween candy, and I definitely shoved a handful in my face while I was coloring.
A little bit of retail therapy
The Colourpop x Disney Designer collection launched today. Being that I love Disney and some of the princesses, I was into this collection when I first heard about it. Sure, the products aren’t terribly exciting and the main draw is the packaging, but I’m totally ok with that. It wouldn’t be the first time I purchased a product purely for the packaging, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I picked up the Ariel, Tiana and Belle Lux Lipsticks, and the Boo Ultra Glossy Lip. They’re really pretty, and with the exception of the gloss, they’re all sold out. I’m fairly confident they’ll be back, but you never know. It’s a relatively small thing that made me very happy.
So how are you? What do you do when you’re having a day?