YouTube: yes or no?

I’ve talked myself into and then back out of making videos about a dozen times every day for the last few weeks. I have reservations about it, and I was hoping that we could talk it out.

I don’t know why I suddenly feel like videos are a thing I should do. Could it be because I watch too much YouTube? It’s not entirely out of the question I suppose. I’m still terrified, but for more than just the normal stage fright reasons. I’m also scared because… well, I’m fat.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Ok Teresa, but that’s kind of irrelevant”, I understand. I also think that you’re wrong about the relevance of that fact.

People on the internet are mean. Not just garden variety shitty but like seriously awful. That’s not to say that everyone on the internet is mean; I mean, I’ve only gotten support from the community here, but YouTube isn’t like WordPress. It’s kind of a cesspool, and we’ve all heard the horror stories from YouTubers about the hate they receive that’s completely unfounded. Even when it comes to beauty YouTubers. I mean, come on, it’s makeup. How are you getting threats?

Anyway, aside from being fat there are other things that I’m self-conscious about: my teeth aren’t super white because I love coffee. I’m also missing a tooth due to an accident when I was a little kid. My lips are thin. I don’t have flawless skin, as hard as I try. My hair gets a little ratty. I’m starting to get wrinkles. I have a round face. Like, I’m a normal person and I don’t want to get Botox/cosmetic surgery/veneers/extensions/injections. Like, I’m happy with the way I am and the way that I look, for the most part. I’d like to lose weight, but it’s not something I want to be pointed out by a bunch of internet trolls.

There’s also my skills. Like, I’m not that good at doing my own makeup. I generally just slap some shit on my face and hope it turns out ok. I don’t ever have a goal and I don’t get too fancy with things. I don’t really contour. I don’t do cut creases. Would my videos be boring? Would I be helping anyone?

I don’t know… maybe this is just me being afraid and making excuses not to do something that I want to do. It took so much just to start this blog; I was really in a panic the first time I hit ‘Publish’. Maybe I just need to do it and figure it out as I go.

Comments? Input? Do you guys talk yourselves out of stuff? What do you think about YouTube? If I make videos is there anything you want to see? Come on people, I need your help!

8 Comments

  1. englishwithkirsty
    Permalink

    You won’t know whether you enjoy it unless you give it a go 🙂 I’m a blogger and podcaster, and doing videos has never really interested me, but if it’s something you’d like to try, it’s another way to reach new people with your content. It’s true that people can be mean on Youtube, but that can happen in other places too, such as on Facebook. I don’t think anyone should have to do videos if they don’t want to, but for every idiot troll out there, there are good people too!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Lori Daniels
    Permalink

    I have to admit that I’m kinda in the same place as you are. I grew up loving to help my friends see themselves as I saw them, as the amazing, wonderful people that I loved on the inside. I loved doing lil makeovers so they could see themselves in a different light. They were always amazed at how a few tweaks made such a difference and I got to watch their confidence soar. I’ve always wanted to try to do something like this as an adult, with positive attitude posts and such things that I can do with my disability etc. My issue is that I was abused at a young age and ever since then my life has been in a tailspin.

    So, I’ve said all that to say this, you are the only one who can change your life and go for your goals. If you’re a Christian my advice is to pray about it and let the Lord guide you. If you’re not, then I suggest some soul searching and from what I’ve seen you’re in a good relationship, maybe I heart to heart with your man to help you clear some things up in your head. I for one would love to be able to see you go for your dreams. I think that every time you make a move forward towards your dream it will be easier and easier. As for the trolls? We live in an online world, people are going to try to get you to give up on your dreams. Ignore them, block them, pretend you’re a duck and let their words just slide off your back and keep reaching for your dreams. Remember that you are a rare person and only you can make the most of your life. Sending you lots of love and encouraging hugs sweetie 🤗 ❤️ 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Teresa
      Permalink

      This is great advice, and thank you for the encouragement and support! I’m a duck, starting now.

      Like

      Reply
      • lorismusings050174
        Permalink

        You’re so welcome ❤️ I worked in customer service for 25 years and that was the best way we could get through the day sometimes. When you have people yelling at you all day long you learn how to let it roll off your back. They’re not mad at you personally, but it sure feels like it in the moment. I’m really glad that I could shed some light on your day 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Teresa
        Permalink

        I’ve worked in customer service basically my entire career, so I know what it’s like to have people yelling at you all day, every day. I guess that bothers me less than the idea of people making nasty comments for no reason. Like, at least when people are upset with me at work there’s a reason.

        Like

      • lorismusings050174
        Permalink

        But the reason isn’t something that you personally did to them right? Hence the reason to act like a duck & let it roll off your back, fix the issue and move on to the next. With internet trolls? There’s no fixing their issues! Lmao! That’s why you just have to ignore it and let it roll off your back. Don’t let anyone steal your shine girl! Reach out for those dreams! Love & hugs! We spoonies stick together 💪💜😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Teresa
        Permalink

        Well, it kind of depended on the day… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t occasionally a little snarky if I got attitude. But, like, in a nice way.

        Yes, spoonies!!

        Like

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